I read an oldish Huff Post review of this place which made it sound hospitable, boisterous, generous and a good laugh. Actually, it was mean, nasty, grasping and embarrassing. And 70€ per person, which would be cheap if the purveyors of delight had an honest cell in their bodies. But they obviously don't.
The show was a bit like something the local am-dram soc. would put on if if it had a few good-looking female members who were desperate to show the world their bodies before they became completely un-showable (despite the fact they don't know one end of belly dancing from the other). It wasn't about performance, just display. OK if you like display. I felt awfully sorry for them.
Obviously, the 'all-you-can-drink' wine was going to be awful, and it was. I struggled through quite a lot of it nonetheless, despite the waiter's unwillingness to play the game. My more discerning friend stuck to raki, which is generically rather than variably vile.
The food, however, was unforgivable in a city where the food is, on the whole, absolutely wonderful: a sad and very chilly 'mezze' plate - yeah, right! - then a choice of meat, fish or chicken. I had 'chicken' (little cubes of indestructibly dry stuff in a sauce that tasted vaguely of stale 'curry powder' - I chewed on a piece for a while and then put it back on the plate) and my friend had 'fish' (a leathery fillet of mackerel which they cook so much better on the fish-sandwich stalls around Galata Bridge but, even then, spend much longer in a freezer than they ever spent in the sea). She got through it, however, which meant she could pass on the oddly flavoured baclava - how? why? in Istanbul where the baclava is ubiquitous and delish? - which constituted dessert. I ate most of that out of hunger but she took the higher moral ground and left it.
The embarrassing show then ended (unfortunately we had a great table and didn't miss a moment) and we were told that the lift home was about to leave. By the time we had finished our drinks it had gone. At this point, we were really, really tired of the waiter.
The trip home by metro was the high point of the evening - fun, and full of really nice, helpful people - as Istanbul mostly is.
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