Ok so we paid 1450 Bhat per person plus drinks for this evening. Pickup promptly at 6 as promised, but we hit major traffic and 6 minute trip from Pathumwan Princess to dock took 1 hour. Very scary drive, no seatbelts. Despite driver being constantly phoned, boat had left when we arrived. Eventually the boat turned back and collected us, 7.20pm. Everyone was on third course. The waiters brought our food as we were sitting down and stood as we ate, awaiting the finish of each course. Horrible, horrible food!! At first it looked good but it had zero taste. Salmon with 5 bones in every mouthful. Dry springrolls tasted 5 days old. Tap water (nobody touched it). Wine only by bottle (1000 bhat), I settled for 'Cola' 110 bhat (on the street it's 15 bhat). At this point my DH took pity and swapped his green curry for my seafood. 2 prawns and a corn cob!? I could not eat anything. Then I found a piece of metal in food. Called the waiter but he appeared confused/didn't care. Staff could not look more unhappy. A man sat tallying up our bills at the back, so obvious. Can they not spare 10 bhat for sealed bottled water for tourists after paying 1,450 bhat for trip?? Nobody touched the tap water. A small bug crawling on fruit plate. The dancers were sweet. The music playing girl was good. There were 20 guests and maybe 15 staff. We arrived back in River City port at 8.40 pm (20 minutes early). I think everyone was grateful. Most plates were taken away full. This thing is beyond bad.