Like most of the other people on this site, my girlfriend and I were fooled into staying at the Lakeside Inn after reading a good review in New York Magazine and seeing the nice photos on the website. (I doubt if anyone from NY Magazine ever stayed here, or if they did, they must be a friend of the owner.) However, we were extremely disappointed in our stay. First of all, the room we were placed in was completely different than both what was described to us and shown on the website. In fact, the website is extremely misleading, to the point where I would call it false advertising. What the website shows and promises are beautiful, clean luxury rooms, brand new bathrooms. It also promises “All rooms have wireless access, Ipod docking stations. Check out an Ipod at the front desk to enjoy super chill sounds or whatever your genre. New York Times and Montauk Pioneer.” These are all false.

Instead, the room we were placed did not even look to be completed. It was horrifyingly disgusting. Dead bug guts streaked across the walls for your viewing pleasure. Dead bug guts smashed into the disgusting bathmats. Dead bugs in the shower, in the sink, all over the floor.

In trying to figure out how the hell all these bugs managed to get in the room, we realized that THE FLOORS HAD NOT BEEN SEALED. Hello owners...you are a motel next to the lake! Did it not occur to you to kick in a couple more bucks to seal the floors?

There was also birdcrap all over the lakeside "deck". I'm not sure if I'd call it a "deck"...a more appropriate term might be "unlocked entry for someone to steal all of the stuff in your room" or "stand here to get crapped on by birds and eaten alive by mosquitoes".

Like almost everyone else I stayed at the Lakeside after a write up in NYMag. For 300 a night, we got a large comfortable bed, and a family of spiders. There were about 5-10 of them living on the ceiling, 2-3 squished onto the wall. The sliding door overlooking the lake didn't lock, which made me very nervous, but there were no staff to complain to, as there was only someone in the office for check-in and check-out. There was about a 2 inch space between the door and the floor, so on a windy night, mulch blew in through the gap. The cleaning lady did not clean it up the next day. (she did replace the towels) I was rather appaled that the owners felt it was okay to charge 300 a night for this stay. The view was lovely, and the bed was nice. I felt as if the owners spent all their money on ihomes and comfy beds, and then ran out of cash for things like locks, bug removal, and proper cleanings of the rooms. They were obviously still doing work on the place, which is fine, but i wouldn't recommend staying at a hotel where owners feel it is okay to charge $600 for a two night stay in a room with bugs squished to the walls, and no locking door.

I read about the Lakeside in New York Magazine and after checking out the Inn's website, I booked a room. When I made my reservation there were no pictures or reviews up on tripadvisor.

The night before leaving for Montauk I happened to check again on tripadvisor and found two VERY negative reviews and some scary pictures. I nearly called off the entire trip!!

I was extremely relieved (and pleased) when I finally saw the room. It was clean, simple and spacious. The view of the lake and the patio were a nice. The ipod dock was in the room but the wireless internet connection was not working. The only compaint I would have is that as our room the second closest to the road, you could occasionally hear a car or two drive past outside. But it was hardly noticable and really not an issue at all (certainly not bad enough for us to ask for another room). It was a great stay and I intend to return.

The website should win an award for salesmanship. Twenty bucks says the New York Magazine staff never actually went to the Lakeside Inn.

So allow me to fill in the gaps for you.

The Lakeside Inn appears to have been built by This Guy I Know Construction, Ltd. There were exposed two-by-fours holding up the sliding door to the bathroom. More importantly, the rooms, as pointed out by others, aren't sealed. And by "sealed", I mean, "there should not be a one-inch gap between the bottom of the front door and the ground." Not a problem, unless of course, your motel (i mean "Inn") is adjacent to a GIANT BODY OF STANDING WATER. My wife had seen more bugs in her hostel room in Peru, true, but on the other hand, those places provide mosquito nets. Perhaps I could have called the front desk and asked for one, if there had been a phone in the room, and if the office didn't close at eight PM.

The iPod speaker connection was some crap electronic thing like the kind you might see for sale on a Manhattan street corner. It doesn't matter, because you really only want to be in the room the bare minimum amount of time, with the lights off, rather than jammin' to your tunes.

With the lights on, all there is to do is view the aftermath of the Texas Chainsaw Bug Massacre that is present on the white walls. Mmm, dead mosquito guts streaked with recently feasted-upon human blood. Or you can play Super Mario Bugkiller and contribute to the smeared guts by jumping up and killing bugs resting on the ceiling. That's romantic. Pass the champagne.

(there was no champagne, by the way. Nor were there bike rentals.)

On one hand, because there is no television, there's no being kept up by your neighbor's porn selection in the next room. On the other hand, THERE'S NO TELEVISION. I guess it's my fault for not asking. I didn't think "cable TV" was still an optional provision in a $200 a night room, but what do I know.

But you can still watch the Nature Channel at night, if you go into the shower and turn on the lights. There, on the exterior of the lake-facing windows, you can watch the six or seven gigantic spiders race from insect to insect as they eat through their web-ensnared orgy of lake bugs.

If I may suggest a better establishment, try ANYWHERE ELSE. All the motels in "motel gulch" are better positioned to the town, the beach, and away from the bug lake. If you have money to burn, go to Gurneys. Yes, Gurneys rooms look a little shabby, but it's a real, functioning hotel, not a scam. If you're looking to spend less, The Ocean Resort Inn looked very nice.

But what do I know. Maybe The Lakeside sounds like your cup of tea. Finally, you say, a motel that caters to your desire for you and your family to be kind-of sheltered from the elements. Obviously the crack research staff at New York Magazine had a wonderful time. If so, knock yourself out. Snuggle up in the warm, cozy sheets covered with dead bug guts, flick the ladybug who is crawling across your chest off the bed, and sleep tight, safe and warm and knowing you spent $200 a night on paradise.