You know that sinking feeling you get as you book into your hotel room only to discover all the other rooms have been taken by a wedding party. You know it’s going to be a night of thumping music and screeching, slamming hall doors….It’s rather like that at the Parknasilla Woodland Lodges.
As you drive in, it’s wall to wall family SUVs with roof boxes. The lodges are all squeezed into a tiny suburbia style cul de sac, backing on to each other and facing the road. Despite the glorious 500 acre site the view from my lovely full glass walls in the lounge is of the parked cars and the recycling hut.
The only green, grassy area for the children to play on happened to be right outside our lodge which created a nightmare every night as the pre-teen boys were still screeching and cheering and playing football til gone 9:30 at night when my youngest two were trying to get to sleep. The sloped roof ceilings with skylights make the rooms really warm and we couldn’t open the windows because the noise of the children playing was keeping them awake even without being open. My girls ended up each night having to sleep with cold wet paper towels on their chests to try and cool them, eventually falling asleep late every night.
My husband and I tried to enjoy a romantic meal I had cooked, a bottle of wine…there was no chance of sitting at our patio table for fear of being hit by the ball and even inside with the doors closed we had to chat loudly over the thud, thud, screech, squeal of the ball and children. We gave up and watched a loud movie.
We get that kids want to play - of course they do ! - but why on a 500 acre site - is the only green area right in front of some family lodges ?
The pool has a stunning vista and is a lovely shape and is quite shallow. But it is tiny for the number of residents and even though we attended in the quiet time advised by the Spa reception - there were at least 40 children screeching, jumping, crying, trying to play without any room to swim at all. It reminded me of the fish tanks you see in Pets at Home!
The playground has quality play equipment and is great : for age 5 and under. I was sad to see the disappointment on my 9 and 6 year old as we had talked up the fact that there was a playground but then when they got there, there wasn’t really anything for them.
Reception has a selection of family DVDs you can borrow. We excitedly came back with Monsters vs Aliens to watch with the children. It was scratched to heck and it turned into a 2 hour marathon of Frustration vs Patience !
There is a strange water system with an 8 foot tank in a room upstairs. The slightest waft near a sink sets it off whirring and grinding for hours on end. It became a joke as the noise punctuated every hour of every day. Peaceful ? Not even close.
They talk up the “Supervised Movie” 5:30 to 7:30 so my husband and I were thinking it would be a lovely opportunity to have a grown up supper in the nice restaurant while the children enjoyed this activity. Turns out the restaurant doesn’t open til 7 so that was a non starter. Having overheard another lady at reception complaining about the quality of one of the kids club leaders and how she didn’t want her as the evening’s babysitter, I decided to dodge the idea of getting a sitter in.
The kids club activities are pizza making, baking, arts and crafts and face painting. My 6 and 9 year olds decided they probably wouldn’t like any of those and I acceded as they did sound rather babyish.
The bar area in the main hotel is the only place for the children to eat. The service is good and the food is nice but the tables and chairs are completely inappropriate. Coffee tables, or small bar tables and “lounge chairs”. Needless to say we had no end of spillages, dropped food, kids trying to stand, sit on the floor or whatever! The only comfortable looking kids were those being fed in their pushchairs !
The walks in the grounds are very nice.
The roads are horribly dangerous - blind corners, kids everywhere so please drive really slowly if you ever make it to site.
You, know, the week has been such a non-relaxing experience, I even forgot to mention on the first day we had to get out the electrician as the TV didn’t work and the plumber out as the shower leaked all through the kitchen ceiling (interesting, they didn’t move us - had I been the manager, I’d have been a little concerned about the electrics and our safety).
When we booked I was seduced by the beautiful images on the website. I think my gut was trying to talk to me though, something niggled at me that there were beautiful images of teddies on pillows, vases of flowers, upclose healthy rocket paninis and Next catalogue kiddies on a boardwalk and few photos of the actual facilities. The playground photo is like a Christian magazine image of kids reaching for a ball in sunset - when I think back, it did bother me that there wasn’t actually a photo of the playground, or the lodge area, or the kids club, or any other play areas….Should have listened to my gut !
Overall - probably nice if your kids are under 5 and you like lots of people around and aren’t looking for a peaceful holiday experience.